9 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don't Do

Managing your emotions isn’t only about what you won't do, but about what you will do as well, and this was proven by TalentSmart, which tested more than one million people, and discovered the things that emotionally intelligent people avoid doing to stay calm, happy, and effective.

Emotionally intelligent people consciously avoid many negative behaviors that can easily cause people to fall into them if they are not careful. Here are nine key things emotionally intelligent people don’t do.

1. They don’t allow anyone limit their happiness

Emotionally intelligent people don’t let anyone’s views or achievements prevent them from feeling satisfied about anything they have done.

While you cannot control your reactions to other people’s opinions of you, you shouldn’t compare yourself to them. Rather, you have to question their opinions. Regardless of what they think or do, your true value comes from within, and no matter what they think of you, one thing remains certain - you are not the person they describe.

2. They don’t forget

Emotionally intelligent people forgive quickly, but they don’t forget.

You have to forgive what happened, so that you can keep moving forward, but that doesn't mean giving those who wronged you a second chance. Emotionally intelligent people don’t allow the same mistakes to take place twice, but rather keep themselves out of harm’s way in the future.

3. They don’t waste their energy in fighting

Emotionally intelligent people know how important it is to prepare yourself to square up on another day .

Wild emotions during conflicts push you to fight battles that may cause you a lot of harm, but when you read your emotions well and respond to them appropriately, you can choose the battles that you can win.

4. They don’t seek out perfection

Emotionally intelligent people do not seek out perfection because they know there’s no such thing as a perfect person, and that humans aren't infallible.

When your goal is to be perfect, you will always feel guilty and end up spending your time complaining about what you failed to achieve, rather than enjoying what you were able to accomplish.

5. They don't live in the past

Emotionally intelligent people know that success lies in their ability to survive failures, and that they cannot achieve this if they live in the past.

Failure is often caused by taking the risk of achieving something that is not easy to achieve, which can undermine your confidence and the ability to achieve better results in the future.

Anything  worth achieving requires you to take some risk. So, don’t allow past failures to cast doubt on your ability to succeed and prevent you from moving on.

6. They don’t focus on problems

Emotionally intelligent people do not focus on problems because they know that they are more effective when they focus on solutions.

Focusing your attention determines your emotional state because when you focus on the problems that you face, you feel the pressure and tension that hinder your performance, but when you focus on actions that help you improve yourself and your circumstances, you develop a sense of personal competence that produces positive emotions and boosts your performance.

7. They don’t spend time with negative people

Emotionally intelligent people set boundaries in their relationships and stay away from negative people, so that they don't get themselves into negative emotional spirals.

Negative people leave negative impacts on those around them as they are overwhelmed with their problems, can’t focus on solutions and want people to feel sorry for them, so that they can feel better about themselves.

People often feel pressure to listen to negative people because they do not want to be seen as impolite or unsympathetic, but there is a thin line between listening sympathetically, and getting stuck in a spiral of negative emotions.

Think of it this way, if someone smokes, would you sit near them and inhale the smoke of their cigarettes? Of course not! You will keep away from them, and this is what you should do with complainers.

A great way to set boundaries is to ask complainers how they intend to solve a problem. In this case, The complainer will either calm down, or engage in a more meaningful conversation.

8. They don’t harbor grudges

Emotionally intelligent people know the importance of avoiding harboring grudges at any price.

The negative emotion that comes from holding grudges is actually a response to tension. As soon as you think about the event in question, your body activates the fight-or-flight response.

When there is a threat on the horizon, this reaction is important to your survival, but when the threat is old, this constant stress can harm your body and cause serious consequences for your health over time. Researchers at Emory University have shown that stress and tension contribute to high blood pressure and heart disease.

So, learn to let go of grudges because it will not only make you feel better now, but it can also improve your health in the long run.

9. They don’t fear to say "no"

When it is time to say “no”, emotionally intelligent people don’t use ambiguous phrases like “I do not think I can” or “I'm not sure.”

Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficult it is to say "no", the more likely you are to experience stress, exhaustion and even depression.

Saying “no” may pose a challenge to most people, but you should not avoid saying it because saying “no” to a new commitment means you're respecting your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to fulfill them successfully.