13 Habits of Exceptionally Likable People

Many  people mistakenly believe that being likable comes from natural but unteachable traits that only a privileged few possess, including good appearance, social intelligence, and extraordinary talent. It is easy to fall prey to this misconception, but being likable is possible and under your control; it is a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).

In a study conducted at UCLA, participants rated over 500 adjectives based on their significance to likeability or acceptance. The top-rated adjectives were not related to being social, intelligent, attractive, or any innate characteristics. Instead, the top-rated adjectives were sincerity, transparency, and capacity for understanding others. These are some of the characteristics of emotionally intelligent people.

Data from Talent Smart conducted over more than a million people  has shown that people with these skills are not only highly likable, but they also outperform those who lack them by a large margin.

After digging to uncover the key behaviors that emotionally intelligent people engage in that make them likable, we put together 13 of the best:

1. They ask questions:

The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is they are so focused on what they are going to say after the other finishes talking, or  they focus on how what the other person is saying is going to affect them, to the extent that they fail to hear what is being said. The words are heard clearly, but the meaning is lost. A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions since people like to know you are listening. Asking questions shows that not only are you listening, but you also care about what they are saying. Therefore, make it a habit, and you will be surprised how much respect and appreciation you'll gain just by asking questions.

2. They put away their phones:

Nothing will turn someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message, even if it is a quick glance at your phone. When you talk to someone in a conversation, focus all of your attention on it. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective only when you pay attention to them.

3. They are jenuine:

Being genuine and natural is essential to being likable, since no one likes a fake or an artificial person. In addition, people gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don't know who they really are and how they really feel.

Consequently, likable people act like who they are because they are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. By concentrating on what drives you and makes you happy, you become a much more interesting person than if you attempt to win people over by making choices that you think will make them like you.

4. They don't pass judgment:

If you want to be likable, you must be open-minded. Being that makes you approachable and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has formed prior opinions about them and is not willing to listen either.

Having an open mind is very critical in the workplace where access to new ideas is approachable. If you want to eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes.

This doesn't mean that you have to believe what they believe or condone their behavior; it simply means you quit passing judgments long enough to truly understand their different perspectives and why they make certain decisions. Only then can you let them be who they are.

5. They don't seek attention:

People are averse to those who are actively seeking attention. Being social and extroverted is not a condition to being likable; but rather, being friendly and considerate is what is needed. When you speak in a friendly, confident, and concise manner, you will notice that people are more attentive and easier to convince than if you try to show them how important you are every time. People pay attention and gravitate to your positive attitude quickly more than anything else.

When you are being given attention, try to appreciate others. For example, if you are being recognized for an accomplishment, shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help you get there. This may seem cliche, but if it is genuine, the fact that you pay attention to others and appreciate their help will show that you are appreciative and humble- two traits that are closely tied to likeability.

6. They are consistent:

Being inconsistent is one of the things that make you more unlikeable. People  like to know who they are dealing with and what sort of response they can expect. To be consistent, you must be reliable, and you must ensure that even when you experience moody moments, it doesn't affect how you treat other people.

7. They use positive body language:

Being aware of your gestures, expressions and tone of voice and making them positive will draw people to you to a large extent. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact are all forms of positive body language that high EQ people use to attract others. Positive body language can make all the difference in a conversation. How you say something can be more important than what you say.

8. They leave strong first impressions:

Research shows most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. Then  they spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction.

This may sound terrifying, but you can take advantage of it  to make huge gains in your likeability. Therefore, you must recognize that the first impressions are tied intimately to positive body language. Consequently, strong posture, a firm handshake, smiling, and opening your shoulders to the person you are talking to wil help ensure that your first impression is a good one.

9. They greet people by name:

Your name is an essential part of your identity, and it feels great when people use it. Therefore,  Likeable people make certain they use other’s names every time they see them. You shouldn't use someone’s name only when you greet them. Research shows that people feel important when their names are mentioned by others during a conversation.

If you remember faces but have trouble with names, have some fun with it and make remembering people’s names a brain exercise. When you meet someone, don't be afraid to ask their name a second time if you forget it right after you hear it. Keep  their name in a notebook if you are going to remember it the next time you see them.

10. They smile:

People naturally and unconsciously reflect the body language of the person they are talking to. If you want people to like you, smile at them during a conversation, and they will unconsciously do it and feel good as a result.

11. They know when to open up:

Be careful to avoid sharing personal problems and confessions quickly, as this will get you labeled a complainer. Likeable people let the other person guide when it is the right time for them to open up and share their problems.

12. They know who to touch and they touch them:

When you touch someone during a conversation, oxytocin  is released in their brain, which is a neurotransmitter that makes their brain associate you with trust and a host of other positive feelings.

Oxytocin is released by a simple touch on the shoulder, a hug, or a friendly handshake. Of course, you have to touch the right person in the right way to release oxytocin, as unwanted or inappropriate touching has the opposite effect.

Just remember, relationships are built not just from words, but also from general feelings about each other. Therefore, touching someone appropriately is a great way to show your interest.

13. They balance passion and fun:

People gravitate toward those who are passionate. That said, it is easy for passionate people to come across as too serious or uninterested because they tend to get absorbed in their work. Likeable people balance their passion with the ability to have fun.

At work they are serious, but friendly. They still get things done because they are socially effective in short amounts of time, and they capitalize on valuable social moments. They minimize small talk and gossip and instead focus on having meaningful interactions with their coworkers. They remember what you said to them yesterday or last week, which shows that you are just as important to them as their work.

In conclusion:

Likeable people are invaluable and unique. They network with ease, promote harmony in the workplace, bring out the best in everyone around them, and generally seem to have the most fun. So, add these skills to your repertoire and watch your likeability soar.